Horror vs. Real Life

Horror movies: blood sucking vampires. Horror IRL: money sucking vampires.

 

Horror movies: scientist who builds a man from corpses. Horror IRL: scientists build a bomb to incinerate 10s of 1,000s of humans.

 

Horror movies: invisible spirits of dead people hurt you and you can do nothing against them. Horror IRL: the invisible state hurts you and you can do nothing against it.

 

Horror movies: witches. Horror IRL: fucking priests*. 'Nuff said.

 

Horror movies: zombies rise up. Horror IRL: the poor rise up. 

Folks, you gotta ask yourself if you are a zombie, that is to say, if you are really that worried that the poor ' gonna take away your Mustang, or if you are, in fact, the poor.

 

Horror IRL: Egyptian nobility who should be dead walk around doing whatever it is they do. Horror IRL: modern nobility** hoard billions of dollars. 

 

Horror movies: various creatures who come out of swamps or ocean depths. Horror IRL: marines. Sorry, but, hey, you know.

 

Horror movies: aliens from Mars who abduct, study, enslave, dissect and exterminate you. Horror IRL: aliens from Europe, ditto.

 

Horror movies: radioactive monster comes put of the sea to incinerate cities. Horror IRL: submarines rise out of sea to incinerate cities.

 

Horror movie: huge machines rampage across cities. Horror IRL: huge SUVs rampage across cities.

 

*nondenominational anthropological usage. 

**remind me about the weird thing we do w the word “noble”. Have y’all in fact read ANY history??