Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Cesar Chavez skit, spring 2019

Skit for the bilingual classes’ assembly


Dolores Huerta: César Chávez’s family had always lived in Arizona in Mexico.


Border guard 1: [move border] Now it’s in the United States!


Grandfather Cesario: So now I’m American Right?


Border guard 2: Well, I don’t know about that.


Border guard 3: Yeah, you just look like a Mexican to me.


Father: Look papá! A baby boy! We’ll name him César after you!


Grandfather: What a lovely baby.


Little César: I love to play on my family’s farm!


Mother: Bad news. We need to leave our home because we can’t pay the government the taxes that we owe.


Little César: So we’re homeless now?


Mother: Yes, that’s the word when you don’t have a place to live.


Father: We have to travel from farm to farm looking for work.


Mom: You will have to work, too, César.


Little César: Now we drive all around California working on farms. There are new towns and new schools.


Teacher 1: Hi! I’m your new teacher.


Teacher 2: Hi! I’m your new teacher.


Teacher 3: Hi! I’m your new teacher.


Teacher 4: Hi! I’m your new teacher.


Teacher 5: Hi! I’m your new teacher.


Little César: ¡Ay! !Aún otra escuela! ¡Aún otra maestra!


Teacher 6: Stop that! It is bad to speak Spanish! Only dumb people speak Spanish!


Bigger César: Eso no es justo.


Teacher 7: Go sit in the corner. Wear this dunce hat.


Bigger César: Never mind. I need to go work to feed my family. 7th grade will have to be enough.


Recruiter: Join the Navy and defend the United States!


Big César: Aye-aye, sir! [marches around a lot] Wow. That was the worst 2 years of my life!!


Sign carrier: [silently carries sign across stage]


Big César: So that’s what I get for helping defend the United States? People talk about me like I’m a dog? Like I’m not even American?


Worker 1: So where is the organizer who is coming to speak with us?


Big César: Uh… It’s me!


Worker 2: Don’t make me laugh!


Worker 3: You are the leader who is going to get us fairness in our work?


Big César: No, I’m not. You’re the ones who are going to get yourselves fairness at work. I am here to help and lead, but you’re the ones who have to do the job.


Union buster 1: You better quit protesting and get back to work!


Union buster 2: Yeah, you’re pretty small. I bet if I hit you with this stick you would just dry up and blow away.


Big César: That’s probably true, but there are a lot more than me here.


Crowd: ¡Si se puede! ¡Si se puede! ¡Si se puede!


Dolores Huerta: Actually, that was MY line. Not César’s. Like he said— we’re the ones that have to do the job. Not just him. [winks]


Worker 4: César, the stuff they are spraying on the grapes is getting on us and making us sick!


Worker 5: I wonder if it is making people sick when they eat it?


Owner 1: Of course not! It helps me make more money when I spray the grapes. It’s perfectly safe. I would be happy to stand right there beside you in the fields when they spray.


Older César: OK, then. How about tomorrow at 7:00 in the morning when we are working and they airplane comes to spray?


Owner 1: Um, I’d like to, but I have to get a haircut then.


UFW member 1: César, please drink some of this broth I made you! It is not good to stop eating for so many days!


Older César: I… can’t… this … is how… I show… that it is… more important to me… than life or death.


UFW member 2: ¡Ay, César! If you go on hunger strike like this, you will damage your health. You probably won’t even live to be 70 years old!


Dolores Huerta: [aside] Yeah, we told him, but he wouldn’t listen. Look at me! I’m almost 90 now, and I just go, go, go! ¡Viva la causa! In fact, César will die at age 66. He won’t even live to see the year 2000.


All workers and UFW members: ¡No compran uvas! ¡No compran uvas!


Kid: Mommy, can we buy some grapes? They’re my favorite fruit!


Mom: Well, you like oranges, too, don’t you? The farm workers outside wouldn’t ask us not to buy grapes unless it was really important.


Kid: Yay! Oranges!


Owner 2: Will you look at all this fruit? It’s just rotting! This will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars!


Owner 3: Wow. Who knew we needed people so badly?


Owner 4: Yeah, it’d probably just be cheaper to pay the UFW better wages, don’t you think?


UFW member 3: My feet feel like they are on fire!


UFW member 4: How far can Sacramento be, anyway?


UFW member 5: Only about 5 hours.


All UFW members: [yelling] That’s only if you are driving in a car! We’re walking the whole way!


UFW member 6: ¡Ay! Hey, has anyone seen César?


Older César: This better be awfully important. I’m supposed to be out somewhere near Tracy walking all the way to Sacramento.


Farm owners: OK, fine Mr. Chávez. You win. Let’s negotiate a contract!


Farm owner 5: You’re a pretty tough opponent, Mr. Chávez.


Older César: Look I told you, I told them, I told everybody. It’s not me: it’s all of us. It’s the whole United Farm Workers. It’s all our families. It’s all the people who do the work that you need to get done. That’s who!

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