Links by Andrei Codrescu

 

minute read

_Links_ by Andrei Codrescu

rekeyed from an akshual book of Mr. Codrescu's NPR commentaries from A Long Time Ago 

Links

by Andrei Codrescu

1985

It started with the clock. I remember when I put the clock on top of the radio. The time was 1976. Next time I looked, the clock was inside the radio. They had merged. The time was 1979. I put the clock-radio next to the phone. Next time the phone rang it was from inside the clock-radio. I picked up the receiver and talked as I listened to the news and noted the time. It was 1981. During my absence from the house one time, I came back to find the telephone-answering machine inside the clock-radio-phone.The weird mating accelerated in the months that followed. Thetelephone-answering-clock-radio-phone married the tapedeck. The telephone-answering-clock-radio-phone-tapedeck married the turntable and the speakers. The telephone-answering-clock-radio-phone-tapedeck-turntable-speakersmarried the TV. The telephone-answering-clock-radio-phone-tapedeck-turntable-speakers-TV married the home computer. The telephone-answering-clock-radio-phone-tapedeck-turntable-speakers-TV-computermarried the modem. The year was 1984. The telephone-answering-clock-radio-phone-tapedeck-turntable-speakers-TV-computer-modemmarried the modem in the house next door. The two modems-- which were each part of a telephone-answering-clock-radio-phone-tapedeck-turntable-speakers-TV-computer system began to marry other modems up and down the street. These group marriages accelerated rapidly. I looked at the clock, its faint pulse barely visible in the large body around it. The time was 1984.Breathing evenly around me was the telephone-answering-clock-radio-phone-tapedeck-turntable-speakers-TV-computer-modem-bank-store-moviehouse-restaurant.When I was finished observing the rapidly growing electronic mass, Ifelt the sharp prodding of something metallic in my back as a jack slipped neatly into a socket at the base of my spine. I then typed this on keyboard which is also my table where I work and take my my meals. The time is 1985. I don't have to look at the clock to tell you.